Back to School Crush
Recently, I recalled a conversation with my sister when I learned she was travelling 2 hours every weekend for travel soccer. "I will never do that, I'm not joining that club", I said smuggly. "Yes you will", she warned. I watched my friends with school age kids running from one activity to the next, often exhausted, late and irritable.
My sister was right, on September 8th I joined the club. It all started at my daughter's back to school night, which was like a carnival. There were balloons, colorful poster presentations and candy. I was so eager to explore my choices. First Grade was a whole new world -- Daisy's, Chess, Dance...was I hyperventilating?
The following evening my husband and I sat at the kitchen table with my daughter. My husband had a strong opinion about the Northern Virginia Activity Machine. "We need to choose one activity. We can't do everything", I told her, and my husband nodded. But she wanted to do everything. How could I say no to my 6 year-old doe eyed daughter? She wanted to be a Daisy, she wanted to learn to play chess. My husband warned of mommy burnout but gave us his vote.
A week later the madness ensued with an activty everyday. Suddenly, I was the activity maven...I was also exhausted, irritable and always late. We were not engaging as a family, instead we were fried. Something had to change. Then it hit me.....special play time. This is a play therapy technique that I recommend to parents when there is a behavior problem with a child or the family is not engaging. It is actually easy to do. Carve out 15 to 20 minutes to play with your child one-on-one everyday. They choose the activity and they can't lose the time as a punishment.
The theory here is simple:
It is a time to build attachment, positive interaction and playfulness into your relationship.
The following week we began and quickly everything seemed to magically shift.
As a result of beginning this new ritual, our actvites have taken on a new kind of playfulness. There is less stress in traffic to and from activities. Instead of watching swimming, I am in the water. If we eat at 8 PM, I remind myself of how happy Italian kids are who eat later in the evening. I am on a mission to be sure my family is happy and connected. I want to remind every family out there that you can do both. If you have and use 15 minutes everyday to spend together, it will change the entire mood in your house.
A funny thing happened yesterday - my daughter said that she was tired of chess and didn't want to be in the club anymore..................my husband, a chess lover said, "honey, are you sure?".....ha!
Kristi Guadagnoli, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Director, Therapy Services
MindWell Psychology
My sister was right, on September 8th I joined the club. It all started at my daughter's back to school night, which was like a carnival. There were balloons, colorful poster presentations and candy. I was so eager to explore my choices. First Grade was a whole new world -- Daisy's, Chess, Dance...was I hyperventilating?
The following evening my husband and I sat at the kitchen table with my daughter. My husband had a strong opinion about the Northern Virginia Activity Machine. "We need to choose one activity. We can't do everything", I told her, and my husband nodded. But she wanted to do everything. How could I say no to my 6 year-old doe eyed daughter? She wanted to be a Daisy, she wanted to learn to play chess. My husband warned of mommy burnout but gave us his vote.
A week later the madness ensued with an activty everyday. Suddenly, I was the activity maven...I was also exhausted, irritable and always late. We were not engaging as a family, instead we were fried. Something had to change. Then it hit me.....special play time. This is a play therapy technique that I recommend to parents when there is a behavior problem with a child or the family is not engaging. It is actually easy to do. Carve out 15 to 20 minutes to play with your child one-on-one everyday. They choose the activity and they can't lose the time as a punishment.
The theory here is simple:
It is a time to build attachment, positive interaction and playfulness into your relationship.
The following week we began and quickly everything seemed to magically shift.
As a result of beginning this new ritual, our actvites have taken on a new kind of playfulness. There is less stress in traffic to and from activities. Instead of watching swimming, I am in the water. If we eat at 8 PM, I remind myself of how happy Italian kids are who eat later in the evening. I am on a mission to be sure my family is happy and connected. I want to remind every family out there that you can do both. If you have and use 15 minutes everyday to spend together, it will change the entire mood in your house.
A funny thing happened yesterday - my daughter said that she was tired of chess and didn't want to be in the club anymore..................my husband, a chess lover said, "honey, are you sure?".....ha!
Kristi Guadagnoli, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Director, Therapy Services
MindWell Psychology
posted by Speaking The Mind at
Thursday, October 08, 2009
